Peter Cox Leadership Coach

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question may be, why should you even bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is some thing like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others don’t have to either. It is something like that. You know, like there is a real injunction at the base of it. It is not some casual self-help doctrine. It is that if you do not organize yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you now, and you could say, well, I do not care about that, but that’s actually not correct. You actually do care about that because if you are in pain, you may care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it is very rare that you can find somebody who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I had been out of this form of pain is one of the things that brings the idea that it would be better if it did not exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there is not any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question may be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the answer to this, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It’s something like, look around for something that bothers you and see if you can repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do it in a room. It’s quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room like a room, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I have to do?

And you need to ask yourself this, right? It is not a command. It’s like a genuine question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, like there is a stack of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that perhaps little order there are a good thing. And you know, you have not, there is some rubbish behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended for like six months. And the room would be marginally better if it was a little less dusty and the cables, weren’t all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you let yourself just to consider the expanse in which you exist at the moment, there will be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it which you can just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you’re coming to see me for psychotherapy, this easiest thing for us to do first would just be to get you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say begin where you are able to begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of thinking about it as in need of repair, you could repair, then Hey, fix it. You fix a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat every day, because people tend to think of those as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you have your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines that you go through daily. Well, those probably constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t need to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that is exactly wrong things you do daily. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You have figured out right away. So a hundred adjustments to your wider domain of being, and there is a lot less crap and there is a great deal less crap around it.

A lot fewer traps for you to step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis as soon as you’ve got your mind and your emotions together, and as soon as you’re acting out that, then it is possible to extend what you’re willing to consider yourself and begin fixing up the things which are a part of your broader extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there’s this guy who’s like schizophrenia and alcoholic and has been on the streets for 10 years. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that’s a problem. And it would be good if you could repair it, but you, have not got a clue about how to fix that. You just walk around that and go find something you could fix, because if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it’s very likely you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it’s you right then and there, that should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you do not walk up to a helicopter that is not working and just start tinkering away with it. You need to remain in your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lifestyles, you know, it’s very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room as you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will pop up like mad. And it is partly because your mind is a really strange thing. The moment you give it a name, a genuine aim, it will reconfigure the entire world in keeping with this goal. That’s actually how you see to start with. And so if you set it a task, especially you have to be real about it, and that’s why you have to bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you have to get them in your body. So you’re acting consistently. You have to be genuine about the aim, but as soon as you aim, the world will reconfigure itself around that goal, which is extremely strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically true. You know, the best example of this, you’ve all seen this video in which you see the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And well, you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and don’t see it.

It is like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for about five years, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that guy, if you can get 1 thing through your head and as a consequence of even being in college, that would be a great one. You see what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
How the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a very negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the perfect thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to decrease everybody’s problems to an improper aim. People today get cut off at the knees for all sorts of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have injuries, there’s a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and so you don’t need to take anythingthat specific phrase too much, you want to bind it together with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it is still a terrific thing to ask.