Neighborhood Leadership Development Program Coach

What could you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step one step backwards. The first question might be, why should you even bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is some thing like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you have to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there is a true injunction at the bottom of it. It is not some casual self-help doctrine. It is that if you do not arrange yourself properly, you’ll pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you today, and you may say, well, I do not care about that, but that’s actually not correct. You truly do care about that because if you’re in pain, you may care about it. And that means you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it is very rare you could find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this form of pain is one of the things that brings the notion that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to this, and this is a phenomenological notion, too. It is something like, look around for something that disturbs you and see if you can fix it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do this in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you’re sitting in a room like a room, possibly your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what do I have to do?

And you have to ask yourself that, right? It’s not a command. It’s like a genuine question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, just like there’s a stack of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that perhaps little order there would be a fantastic thing. And you know, you have not, there’s some crap behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended for like six months. And the space would be slightly better if it was a little less dusty and the cables, weren’t all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to think about the expanse where you exist at that moment, there will be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it that you can just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you’re coming to see me for childbirth, this simplest thing for us to do would just be to get you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends on how you conceive the constraints of your being. And I Would say start where you are able to begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You fix a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a lot different. Now, I often tell people to fix the things you repeat daily, because people tend to think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you have your breakfast. You know, you have your routines which you go through every day. Well, those probably constitute 50% of your life. And people think, well, they’re mundane. I don’t need to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that is exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the main things you do. Hands. All you have to do is do the arithmetic. You have figured out immediately. So a hundred alterations to your broader domain of being, and there is a lot less rubbish and there is a great deal less crap around it.

A lot fewer traps for you to step into. And so that’s in keeping with Ewing’s idea about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and once you’re acting out that, then it is possible to extend what you’re prepared to consider yourself and begin fixing up the things that are part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you do not know how to do that. So you might say, imagine you’re walking down Bloor street and there is this man who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for 10 years. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that’s a problem. And it would be good if you could fix it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to fix that. You just walk around that and go find something that you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it’s very probable that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it’s you right then and there, which should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter which is not working and just start tinkering away with it. You need to stay within your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lifestyles, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room as you can do this at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you live and sit down and think, okay, I’m going to make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your head is a very strange thing. The moment you give it a name, a real aim, it will reconfigure the entire world in keeping with that aim. That is actually how you see to start with. And so if you set it a task, especially you have to be real about it, and that’s why you must bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you must get them on your body. So you’re acting consistently. You’ve got to be real about the aim, but as soon as you aim, the world will reconfigure itself about that goal, which is extremely strange. And it is, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of that, you’ve all seen this video in which you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black team.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the middle of the video and do not see it.

It’s like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for around five decades, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you’re able to get one thing through your head and as a result of even being in college, that would be a good one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
How the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the right thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to decrease everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for all sorts of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there’s a random element to being that is for sure. But, and so you don’t want to take anythingthat particular phrase too far, you want to bind it together with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it is still a great thing to ask.