Michael Dare Leadership Coach

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step one step backwards. The first question may be, why should you even bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you have to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It is something like that. You know, like there’s a real injunction at the base of it. It is not some casual self-help doctrine. It is that if you do not arrange yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a big way. And so will the people around you now, and you may say, well, I do not care about that, but that is actually not correct. You actually do care about that because if you’re in pain, you will care about it. And that means you do care about, even if it’s just that negative way, you know, it’s very rare you could find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I had been out of this form of pain is one of the things that brings the idea that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more stupid pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question may be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to that, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It is something like, look around for something that disturbs you and see if you’re able to fix it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do this in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you’re sitting in a room like a room, possibly your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I must do?

And you have to ask yourself this, right? It is not a command. It’s like a genuine question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, just like there’s a heap of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that perhaps little order there would be a good thing. And you know, you haven’t, there’s some crap behind your computer screen that you haven’t attended for like six months. And the room would be slightly better if it was somewhat less dusty and the cables, weren’t all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to consider the expanse where you exist at that moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That will pop out in it which you can just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you’re coming to see me for childbirth, this simplest thing for us to do first would just be to get you to organize your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the constraints of your being. And I Would say start where you can begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, that you could repair, then Hey, fix it. You fix a hundred things like that. Your life will be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to fix the things you repeat daily, because people usually think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines which you go through every day. Well, those probably constitute 50% of your life. And people think, well, they’re mundane. I don’t need to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do daily. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you have to do is do the arithmetic. You have figured out immediately. So a hundred alterations to your wider domain of being, and there is a lot less rubbish and there’s a lot less rubbish around it.

A lot fewer traps for you to step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s idea about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions together, and as soon as you’re acting that out, then it is possible to extend what you’re prepared to consider yourself and begin fixing up the things that are a part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you might say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there is this guy who’s like schizophrenia and alcoholic and has been on the streets for 10 years. He sort of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that’s a problem. And it would be good if you could fix it, but you, have not got a clue about how to repair that. You simply walk around that and go find something you could fix, because if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it is very likely you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you’re experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it’s you right then and there, which should repair them. You must have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter which is not working and just start tinkering away with it. You need to remain within your domain of competence. But most of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the idea of the room as you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you return to where you live and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your head is a really strange thing. As soon as you give it a title, a genuine aim, it’ll reconfigure the entire world in keeping with this goal. That is really how you see to start with. And so in case you set it a task, especially you have to be real about it, and that’s why you have to bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you have to get them in your body. So you’re acting consistently. You’ve got to be real about the aim, but once you aim, the entire world will reconfigure itself about that aim, which is extremely strange. And it is, it’s, it’s technically true. You know, the best example of that, you’ve all seen this video in which you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black team.
And well, you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and do not see it.

It is like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for about five decades, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you can get 1 thing through your head and as a consequence of even being in college, that would be a great one. You see what you aim at. And so, because one inference you might draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
How the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a very negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you aiming at the right thing? Now?

You know, I am not trying to decrease everybody’s problems to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there’s a random element to being that is for sure. But, and that means you don’t want to take anything, even that particular phrase too far, you need to bind it together with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it is still a great thing to ask.