Mary Beth Luedtke Certified Leadership Coach

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question may be, why should you even bother improving yourself? And I believe the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you have to. And maybe so others don’t have to either. It is something like that. You know, like there is a real injunction at the base of it. It’s not some casual self-improvement philosophy. It’s that if you do not arrange yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a big way. And so will the people around you today, and you may say, well, I don’t care about that, but that is actually not true. You actually do care about that because if you are in pain, you will care about it. And that means you do care about, even if it’s just that negative way, you know, it is very rare that you can find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this form of pain is one of the things that brings the idea that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it is in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there is not any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question may be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to this, and this is a phenomenological notion, too. It is something like, look around for something that disturbs you and see if you’re able to fix it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you go into, you can do this in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room just like a room, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I must do?

And you have to ask yourself that, right? It’s not a command. It’s like a real question and things will pop out in the area that, you know, like there is a stack of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there are a fantastic thing. And you know, you haven’t, there’s some rubbish behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the room would be marginally better if it was somewhat less dusty and the cables, were not all tangled up the identical way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to consider the expanse in which you exist at that moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That will pop out in it that you can just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you’re coming to see me for childbirth, this simplest thing for us to do would just be for you to organize your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends on how you conceive the constraints of your being. And I Would say begin where you can begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, that you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You fix a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat every day, because people tend to think of those as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you have your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines which you go through daily. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t have to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that is exactly wrong things you do daily. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you have to do is do the arithmetic. You have figured out right away. So a hundred adjustments to your broader domain of being, and there’s a lot less crap and there is a lot less rubbish around it.

A good deal fewer traps that you step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and once you’re acting out that, then it is possible to extend what you’re willing to consider yourself and begin fixing up the things which are part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you might say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there is this man who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for 10 years. He sort of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be useful if you could repair it, but you, have not got a clue about how to repair that. You simply walk around that and go find something you could fix, because if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it is very likely you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you’re experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it’s you right then and there, which should repair them. You must have some humility. You know, you do not walk up to a helicopter that is not working and just begin tinkering away with it. You have to remain in your domain of competence. But most of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it’s very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the idea of the room as you can do this at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I’m going to make this place better for 30 minutes.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your mind is a very strange thing. As soon as you give it a title, a real aim, it will reconfigure the entire world in keeping with this goal. That is really how you see to start with. And so in case you set it a job, especially you’ve got to be genuine about it, and that’s why you have to bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you must get them in your body. So you’re acting consistently. You’ve got to be real about the aim, but as soon as you aim, the entire world will reconfigure itself around that goal, which is very strange. And it is, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of that, you’ve all seen this video where you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black team.
And well, you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and do not see it.

It is like, you know, in case you thought about that experiment for about five years, that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that guy, if you’re able to get one thing through your mind and as a result of even being in university, that would be a great one. You see what you aim at. And so, because one inference you might draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the perfect thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to decrease everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for all sorts of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there is a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and that means you don’t need to take anything, even that specific phrase too much, you want to bind it with the fact that random things do happen to people, but it is still a great thing to ask.