Leadership Coaching Tools

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question may be, why should you even bother improving yourself? And I believe the answer to that is some thing like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you have to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It is something like that. You know, like there is a real injunction at the base of it. It’s not some casual self-help doctrine. It is that if you do not arrange yourself properly, you’ll pay for it and in a big way. And so will the people around you today, and you could say, well, I don’t care about that, but that’s actually not correct. You truly do care about that because if you’re in pain, you may care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it’s very rare that you can find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I had been out of this form of pain is one of the things that brings the idea that it would be better if it did not exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question may be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the answer to that, and this is a phenomenological notion, too. It is something like, look around for something which disturbs you and see if you’re able to fix it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you go into, you can do this in a room. It’s quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room just like a room, possibly your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I have to do?

And you have to ask yourself that, right? It’s not a command. It is like a real question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, just like there’s a stack of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there would be a fantastic thing. And you know, you have not, there is some crap behind your computer screen that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the space would be marginally better if it was somewhat less dusty and the wires, were not all tangled up the identical way. And like, if you, if you let yourself just to think about the expanse in which you exist at that moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That will pop out in it that you can just fix. And, you know, I might say, well, if you’re coming to see me for childbirth, this simplest thing for us to do first would just be for you to organize your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends on how you conceive the constraints of your being. And I Would say start where you can start.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, that you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life will be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat every day, because people tend to think of those as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you have your breakfast. You know, you have your routines that you go through daily. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they’re mundane. I don’t have to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do daily. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you have to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out immediately. So a hundred alterations to your wider domain of being, and there is a lot less rubbish and there’s a great deal less rubbish around it.

A lot fewer traps that you step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s idea about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and once you’re acting that out, then you can extend what you’re willing to consider yourself itself and start fixing up the things which are a part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you might say, imagine you’re walking down Bloor street and there is this man who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for a decade. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that’s a problem. And it would be useful if you could repair it, but you, have not got a clue about how to fix that. You just walk around that and go find something you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely that you’ll help that person, it’s very likely you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, doesn’t mean that it’s you right then and there, that should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you do not walk up to a helicopter which is not working and just start tinkering away with it. You have to stay within your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room as you can do this at the drop of a hat. You know, you return to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your head is a really strange thing. As soon as you give it a title, a genuine aim, it’ll reconfigure the world in keeping with this goal. That is really how you see to begin with. And so in case you set it a job, especially you have to be genuine about it, which is the reason why you have to bring your thoughts and emotions together. And then you have to get them on your body. So you’re acting consistently. You have to be genuine about the aim, but once you aim, the world will reconfigure itself around that aim, which is extremely strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically true. You know, the best example of that, you’ve all seen this video where you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black team.
And well, you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and do not see it.

It’s like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for around five decades, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you can get one thing through your head and as a result of even being in university, that would be a great one. You see what you aim at. And so, because one inference you might draw from this is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
How the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you aiming at the right thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to decrease everybody’s problems to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for all sorts of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there is a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and so you don’t need to take anythingthat particular phrase too much, you want to bind it with the fact that random things do happen to people, but it’s still a great thing to ask.