Leadership Coaching Circles

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step one step backwards. The first question might be, why should you even bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you have to. And maybe so others don’t have to either. It is something like that. You know, like there is a true injunction at the bottom of it. It’s not some casual self-improvement philosophy. It is that if you do not arrange yourself properly, you’ll pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you today, and you could say, well, I don’t care about that, but that is actually not correct. You truly do care about that because if you’re in pain, you will care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s just that negative way, you know, it’s very rare you could find somebody who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this form of pain is one of the things that brings the idea that it would be better if it did not exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there is not any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question may be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to this, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It’s something like, look around for something which disturbs you and see if you’re able to repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do it in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room like a space, possibly your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what do I have to do?

And you have to ask yourself this, right? It’s not a command. It’s like a real question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, just like there is a stack of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that perhaps little order there are a good thing. And you know, you have not, there’s some rubbish behind your computer screen that you haven’t attended for like six months. And the space would be slightly better if it was a little less dusty and the wires, weren’t all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to think about the expanse in which you exist at that moment, there will be all sorts of things. That will pop out in it which you can just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you were coming to see me for childbirth, this simplest thing for us to do first would just be to get you to organize your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends on how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say begin where you are able to begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of thinking about it as in need of repair, you could repair, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life will be a lot different. Now, I often tell people to fix the things you repeat daily, because people tend to think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines which you go through every day. Well, those probably constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they’re mundane. I don’t need to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you have to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out immediately. So a hundred adjustments to your broader domain of being, and there is a lot less crap and there is a lot less rubbish around it.

A good deal fewer traps for you to step into. And so that’s in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and as soon as you’re acting that out, then it is possible to extend what you’re prepared to consider yourself and start fixing up the things which are part of your broader extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there’s this man who’s like schizophrenia and alcoholic and has been on the streets for a decade. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be useful if you could repair it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to fix that. You just walk around that and go find something you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely that you’ll help that person, it is very likely you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it’s you right then and there, that should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you do not walk up to a helicopter which isn’t working and just start tinkering away with it. You need to stay within your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lifestyles, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room because you can do this at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you live and sit down and think, okay, I’m going to make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it is partly because your head is a very strange thing. As soon as you give it a title, a genuine aim, it will reconfigure the entire world in keeping with that aim. That’s actually how you see to start with. And so in case you set it a job, especially you’ve got to be real about it, which is the reason why you have to bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you have to get them on your body. So you are acting consistently. You’ve got to be real about the aim, but once you aim, the world will reconfigure itself around that aim, which is extremely strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of this, you have all seen this video where you see the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the middle of the video and do not see it.

It is like, you know, in case you thought about that experiment for around five decades, that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you can get 1 thing through your mind and as a consequence of even being in university, that would be a great one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
How the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a very negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the right thing? Now?

You know, I am not trying to decrease everybody’s problems to an improper aim. People today get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there is a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and so you don’t want to take anythingthat specific phrase too much, you want to bind it with the fact that random things do happen to people, but it is still a terrific thing to ask.