Leadership Coach Regina

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question might be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is some thing like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there’s a true injunction at the base of it. It is not some casual self-help doctrine. It is that if you do not arrange yourself properly, you’ll pay for it and in a big way. And so will the people around you today, and you may say, well, I do not care about that, but that’s actually not correct. You actually do care about that because if you’re in pain, you may care about it. And that means you do care about, even if it’s just that negative way, you know, it is very rare that you can find somebody who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I had been out of this sort of pain is one of those things that brings the idea that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to that, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It is something like, look around for something that disturbs you and see if you can fix it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do this in a room. It’s quite fun to do it. Just when you’re sitting in a room like a space, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what do I must do?

And you have to ask yourself that, right? It’s not a command. It’s like a genuine question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, like there is a heap of papers over there. That’s kind of bugging you. And you know, that perhaps little order there would be a fantastic thing. And you know, you haven’t, there is some crap behind your computer screen that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the room would be slightly better if it was somewhat less dusty and the cables, weren’t all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to think about the expanse where you exist at that moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That will pop out in it which you could just fix. And, you know, I might say, well, if you’re coming to see me for psychotherapy, this simplest thing for us to do first would just be to get you to organize your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends on how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say start where you are able to begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, that you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life will be a lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat daily, because people tend to think of those as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you have your breakfast. You know, you have your routines which you go through daily. Well, those probably constitute 50% of your life. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t need to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the main things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You have figured out right away. So a hundred alterations to your broader domain of being, and there’s a lot less rubbish and there’s a lot less crap around it.

A lot fewer traps for you to step into. And so that’s in keeping with Ewing’s idea about erasing the dis as soon as you’ve got your mind and your emotions together, and once you’re acting that out, then you can extend what you’re willing to consider yourself and begin fixing up the things which are part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you do not know how to do that. So you might say, imagine you’re walking down Bloor street and there is this guy who’s like schizophrenia and alcoholic and has been on the streets for 10 years. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be useful if you could repair it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to repair that. You just walk around that and go find something you could fix, because if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely that you’ll help that person, it is very probable you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you’re experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, doesn’t mean that it is you right then and there, that should repair them. You must have some humility. You know, you do not walk up to a helicopter that is not working and just begin tinkering away with it. You have to remain in your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room as you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your mind is a very strange thing. As soon as you give it a title, a real aim, it’ll reconfigure the entire world in keeping with that aim. That’s really how you see to start with. And so if you set it a job, especially you’ve got to be real about it, and that’s the reason why you have to bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you must get them on your body. So you are acting consistently. You’ve got to be real about the aim, but once you aim, the world will reconfigure itself around that aim, which is extremely strange. And it is, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of this, you have all seen this video in which you see the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the middle of the video and don’t see it.

It is like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for around five decades, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that guy, if you can get 1 thing through your mind and as a consequence of even being in college, that would be a good one. You see what you aim at. And so, because one inference you might draw from this is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
How the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative way, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the right thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to reduce everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for all sorts of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have injuries, there’s a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and that means you don’t need to take anything, even that particular phrase too far, you want to bind it together with the fact that random things do happen to people, but it is still a great thing to ask.