Leadership Coach Effectiveness As Fostering Self Determined Sustained Change

What could you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step one step backwards. The first question may be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is some thing like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there’s a real injunction at the base of it. It is not some casual self-help doctrine. It’s that if you do not arrange yourself properly, you’ll pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you today, and you could say, well, I don’t care about that, but that’s actually not true. You truly do care about that because if you are in pain, you will care about it. And that means you do care about, even if it’s just that negative way, you know, it is very rare you could find somebody who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this sort of pain is one of the things that brings the idea that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there is not any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to this, and this is a phenomenological notion, too. It’s something like, look around for something which bothers you and see if you’re able to repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you go into, you can do it in a room. It’s quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room like a room, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I have to do?

And you need to ask yourself this, right? It is not a command. It’s like a genuine question and things will pop out in the area that, you know, just like there is a heap of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that perhaps little order there would be a fantastic thing. And you know, you have not, there’s some crap behind your computer screen that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the room would be slightly better if it was somewhat less dusty and the wires, were not all tangled up the identical way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to consider the expanse where you exist at that moment, there will be all sorts of things. That will pop out in it that you could just fix. And, you know, I might say, well, if you were coming to see me for psychotherapy, this easiest thing for us to do first would just be for you to organize your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the constraints of your being. And I Would say start where you can start.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat daily, because people usually think of those as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you have your breakfast. You know, you have your routines which you go through every day. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they’re mundane. I don’t need to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do daily. Those are the main things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out right away. So a hundred alterations to your broader domain of being, and there is a lot less rubbish and there’s a great deal less crap around it.

A lot fewer traps that you step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions together, and as soon as you’re acting that out, then it is possible to extend what you’re willing to consider yourself and start fixing up the things that are a part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you do not know how to do that. So you might say, imagine you’re walking down Bloor street and there’s this guy who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for 10 years. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be good if you could repair it, but you, have not got a clue about how to repair that. You just walk around that and go find something that you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it is very likely that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it’s you right then and there, that should repair them. You must have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter that isn’t working and just begin tinkering away with it. You have to stay in your domain of competence. But most of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it’s very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room as you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you return to where you live and sit down and think, okay, I’m going to make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it is partly because your head is a very strange thing. As soon as you give it a title, a real aim, it’ll reconfigure the world in keeping with this goal. That’s really how you see to start with. And so if you set it a task, especially you’ve got to be genuine about it, and that’s the reason why you must bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you must get them on your body. So you are acting consistently. You have to be real about the aim, but once you aim, the world will reconfigure itself around that aim, which is extremely strange. And it is, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of this, you have all seen this video where you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the middle of the video and don’t see it.

It is like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for around five decades, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that guy, if you can get one thing through your head and as a consequence of even being in college, that would be a great one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from this is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
How the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a very negative way, one thing to ask is, are you aiming at the right thing? Now?

You know, I am not trying to reduce everybody’s problems to an improper aim. People today get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there is a random element to being that is for sure. But, and so you don’t need to take anything, even that particular phrase too much, you want to bind it with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it’s still a great thing to ask.