Kelly Life Coach

What could you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question might be, why should you even bother improving yourself? And I believe the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It is something like that. You know, like there is a real injunction at the base of it. It’s not some casual self-improvement philosophy. It’s that if you don’t arrange yourself properly, you’ll pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you today, and you may say, well, I don’t care about that, but that’s actually not correct. You truly do care about that because if you’re in pain, you may care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it is very rare that you can find somebody who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this sort of pain is one of those things that brings the notion that it would be better if it did not exist along with it, it is in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there is not any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question may be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to that, and this is a phenomenological notion, too. It is something like, look around for something which bothers you and see if you’re able to repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do this in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room like a space, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what do I must do?

And you have to ask yourself that, right? It is not a command. It is like a genuine question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, just like there’s a stack of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there would be a good thing. And you know, you have not, there’s some rubbish behind your computer screen that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the room would be marginally better if it was somewhat less dusty and the cables, were not all tangled up the identical way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to consider the expanse in which you exist at the moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That will pop out in it that you could just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you were coming to see me for psychotherapy, this simplest thing for us to do first would just be for you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say start where you are able to start.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, that you could repair, then Hey, fix it. You fix a hundred things like that. Your life will be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat every day, because people tend to think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you have your breakfast. You know, you have your routines which you go through daily. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your life. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t need to listen to them. It’s like, no, no, that is exactly wrong things you do daily. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You have figured out right away. So a hundred alterations to your broader domain of being, and there’s a lot less crap and there’s a great deal less crap around it.

A lot fewer traps for you to step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis as soon as you’ve got your mind and your emotions together, and once you’re acting that out, then you can extend what you’re prepared to consider yourself and begin fixing up the things that are part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there’s this man who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for a decade. He sort of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be useful if you could fix it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to fix that. You just walk around that and go find something you could fix, because if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it is very probable that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you’re experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it’s you right then and there, that should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you do not walk up to a helicopter that is not working and just begin tinkering away with it. You have to remain in your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room as you can do this at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I’m going to make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your head is a very strange thing. As soon as you give it a title, a genuine aim, it will reconfigure the entire world in keeping with this goal. That’s really how you see to start with. And so if you set it a task, especially you have to be real about it, which is the reason why you have to bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you have to get them on your body. So you’re acting consistently. You’ve got to be genuine about the aim, but once you aim, the entire world will reconfigure itself about that goal, which is extremely strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of this, you have all seen this video where you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black team.
And well, you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the middle of the video and don’t see it.

It is like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for around five years, that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that guy, if you can get 1 thing through your head and as a result of even being in college, that would be a good one. You see what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from this is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
How the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a very negative way, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the right thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to decrease everybody’s problems to an improper aim. People today get cut off at the knees for all sorts of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have injuries, there is a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and so you don’t need to take anythingthat particular phrase too much, you want to bind it together with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it is still a great thing to ask.