Integrative Wellness & Life Coaching Textbook

What could you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step one step backwards. The first question may be, why should you even bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is some thing like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you have to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It is something like that. You know, like there’s a true injunction at the bottom of it. It is not some casual self-help doctrine. It’s that if you do not organize yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you today, and you could say, well, I don’t care about that, but that’s actually not true. You truly do care about that because if you’re in pain, you will care about it. And that means you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it is very rare you could find somebody who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this sort of pain is one of the things that brings the notion that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it is in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there is not any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to that, and this is a phenomenological notion, too. It is something like, look around for something which bothers you and see if you can fix it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you go into, you can do this in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room like a space, possibly your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I have to do?

And you have to ask yourself that, right? It’s not a command. It is like a real question and things will pop out in the area that, you know, like there’s a heap of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there would be a good thing. And you know, you have not, there’s some rubbish behind your computer screen that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the room would be slightly better if it was somewhat less dusty and the cables, were not all tangled up the identical way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to think about the expanse in which you exist at that moment, there will be all sorts of things. That will pop out in it that you can just fix. And, you know, I might say, well, if you were coming to see me for psychotherapy, this simplest thing for us to do first would just be for you to organize your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the constraints of your being. And I Would say begin where you are able to begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, that you could repair, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life will be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to fix the things you repeat daily, because people tend to think of those as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines that you go through daily. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they’re mundane. I don’t need to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that is exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the main things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out immediately. So a hundred alterations to your broader domain of being, and there is a lot less crap and there’s a lot less crap around it.

A good deal fewer traps that you step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis as soon as you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and as soon as you’re acting out that, then it is possible to extend what you’re prepared to consider yourself itself and begin fixing up the things that are part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you do not know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you’re walking down Bloor street and there’s this man who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for a decade. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be useful if you could repair it, but you, have not got a clue about how to repair that. You just walk around that and go find something you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely that you’ll help that person, it’s very likely that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, doesn’t mean that it’s you right then and there, that should repair them. You must have some humility. You know, you do not walk up to a helicopter that isn’t working and just start tinkering away with it. You have to stay within your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lifestyles, you know, it’s very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the idea of the room as you can do this at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it is partly because your mind is a really strange thing. As soon as you give it a title, a genuine aim, it will reconfigure the entire world in keeping with this goal. That is really how you see to begin with. And so in case you set it a task, especially you have to be real about it, and that’s the reason why you must bring your thoughts and emotions together. And then you have to get them in your body. So you are acting consistently. You’ve got to be genuine about the aim, but once you aim, the entire world will reconfigure itself about that aim, which is extremely strange. And it is, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of that, you have all seen this video in which you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And well, you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and do not see it.

It is like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for about five decades, that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that guy, if you’re able to get one thing through your head and as a consequence of even being in university, that would be a great one. You see what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative way, one thing to ask is, are you aiming at the right thing? Now?

You know, I am not trying to decrease everybody’s problems to an improper aim. People today get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there’s a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and so you don’t need to take anything, even that particular phrase too far, you want to bind it with the fact that random things do happen to people, but it is still a terrific thing to ask.