Adaptive Leadership Coaching

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question may be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I believe the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you have to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It is something like that. You know, like there’s a true injunction at the base of it. It’s not some casual self-improvement philosophy. It’s that if you do not organize yourself properly, you’ll pay for it and in a big way. And so will the people around you today, and you could say, well, I do not care about that, but that’s actually not true. You truly do care about that because if you’re in pain, you may care about it. And that means you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it is very rare you could find somebody who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this form of pain is one of those things that brings the notion that it would be better if it did not exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there is not any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to that, and this is a phenomenological notion, too. It is something like, look around for something that bothers you and see if you can repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do this in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room like a space, possibly your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I must do?

And you have to ask yourself this, right? It is not a command. It is like a genuine question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, like there’s a heap of papers over there. That’s kind of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there are a fantastic thing. And you know, you haven’t, there is some rubbish behind your computer screen that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the space would be marginally better if it was a little less dusty and the cables, were not all tangled up the identical way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to think about the expanse in which you exist at that moment, there will be all sorts of things. That will pop out in it that you could just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you’re coming to see me for childbirth, this easiest thing for us to do first would just be to get you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends on how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say start where you can start.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of thinking about it as in need of repair, you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You fix a hundred things like that. Your life will be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat daily, because people usually think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you have your breakfast. You know, you have your routines that you go through daily. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they’re mundane. I don’t have to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that is exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out immediately. So a hundred adjustments to your broader domain of being, and there’s a lot less crap and there’s a great deal less rubbish around it.

A good deal fewer traps for you to step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions together, and once you’re acting that out, then you can extend what you’re prepared to consider yourself itself and begin fixing up the things that are part of your broader extent. Now, sometimes you do not know how to do that. So you might say, imagine you’re walking down Bloor street and there is this guy who’s like schizophrenia and alcoholic and has been on the streets for 10 years. He sort of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that’s a problem. And it would be useful if you could fix it, but you, have not got a clue about how to fix that. You just walk around that and go find something you could fix, because if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely that you’ll help that person, it’s very likely you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you’re experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, doesn’t mean that it’s you right then and there, which should repair them. You must have some humility. You know, you do not walk up to a helicopter which isn’t working and just start tinkering away with it. You have to remain in your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it’s very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room as you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I’m going to make this place better for 30 minutes.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it is partly because your head is a really strange thing. The moment you give it a name, a genuine aim, it will reconfigure the world in keeping with that aim. That’s actually how you see to begin with. And so in case you set it a job, especially you have to be genuine about it, and that’s the reason why you must bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you must get them in your body. So you are acting consistently. You have to be real about the aim, but once you aim, the world will reconfigure itself around that goal, which is extremely strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of that, you have all seen this video where you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And well, you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the middle of the video and don’t see it.

It’s like, you know, in case you thought about that experiment for about five years, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you can get 1 thing through your head and as a result of even being in college, that would be a great one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the right thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to reduce everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People today get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have injuries, there is a random element to being that is for sure. But, and that means you don’t want to take anything, even that particular phrase too much, you need to bind it with the fact that random things do happen to people, but it is still a terrific thing to ask.